A Year Ago…

…. A year ago Matt left for his Afghanistan deployment (OEF XIV).

It's crazy.



I had a lot of hope and gumption in the beginning.  It lasted about two days.  Then survival kicked in full swing, and just hoped that somehow me and the boys would have a good day.   And we mostly did.  I kind of over bought with toys, and over invested ice cream.

I tired not to think about what we were missing out with Matt being out of the picture.  It really didn't help when I went out West for the summer and everyone was asking me, "How are you doing?  Is it so hard with Matt gone?" and "I don't know how I could do it."  Umm… yeah… I really didn't want to think about all of that.  Just wanted to talk about bad tv and fashion trends.  Something besides about "how I was feeling," cause I really didn't know how I was "feeling" and I really didn't want to examine those emotions.
I think I got so many of those questions because that area of Idaho isn't inherently military, so it's maybe shocking to know of someone deployed… ???

But once I got back to this area of GA there were no longer questions.  So many people have gone through deployments, and I had many friends' whose spouses were deployed.  We just knew it was hard.  A knowing hug was all that was needed.

The last three months of the deployment I was just tired.  The boys were doing well, but getting ready for Matt to come home.  Sometimes they'd see me cry and say, "Mom misses Dad," then I'd buy them a toy or two… or three and have cinnamon toast crunch cereal for dinner.  Kind of fabulous in it's own special way!  There were days where I'd put the boys in the bath, read them their bedtime stories while they were bathing , brush their teeth while they were bathing, and say their prayers while they were bathing.  All that was left was drying off, new PJs, and easy bedtime!

In the last month of the deployment I started looking at the calendar daily.  It helped to visualize the last few weeks we'd go through.  (I "calendar gazed" A LOT during Matt's Iraq deployment (OIF III), and it would eat at me, so I made a very conscious effort not to do that this time around.)  
But I'd look at the calendar to the months when I KNEW Matt would be home, and think about the simple things that we could do together.  Of course Christmas was a big one, but really it was the like "watch the Olympics in February as a family" and "ride bikes together" that were foremost on my mind.

And Matt, in short, was really busy during the deployment--like, so very, very busy.  When he came home in November it basically took him a full month to recover and catch up on rest.




Matt's now been home 4 months.  We adjusted well, I think.  Thanksgiving and Christmas came with no real stressors, Matt isn't near as 'jumpy' as he was after Iraq, and we really are enjoying our family time.

We haven't had that much of it--the family time--in the last few years.  Matt was taking 18 credits a semester while in his MBA program at Boise State, so that meant very full days with a few hours sprinkled throughout the week for down time (but with homework and studying always on the mind).  So even though Matt doesn't get home till 6 or 6:30 at night, and sometimes 7pm, the fact that he's able to eat dinner with us and then help me put the kids down = WOW!   It's basically been 3 and a half years since we've had that.

There's a good chance that Matt will be gone a month or so this summer, then a month in the fall.  But we're not to worried about it.  Just enjoy then "now".  Cause the "now" is actually pretty great!


… And now a photo dump :)

Family bike ride.
Titus is on the bike trailer, and the boys are training-wheeless. 

Practicing their fishing casting in the living room.  Safe. 

FSU twins!  Watching the last bit of the Olympics.

Matt took the boys to the LEGO movie.  Loved! 

There's a pizza place with a giant IronMan!  

Took the boys to the Mighty Eight Air Force museum.  Pretty cool stuff, man. 

We had an epic play time at the "soft play area" in the mall.
The boys pretty much were the only one's there, and of course Matt recorded the wrestling…
They were all very sweaty afterwards.