I've been told a few times this summer that "you're beautiful." Um, thanks people, that's really nice but... wow. How do I put this into words? Okay, I only feel really pretty when I've had a "good mommy day."
Sometimes when my kids look at me I wonder if they see this scary thing
instead of, well, me.
So I've been working really hard to try to be a calm and peaceful mommy. Keeping my voice down, being compassionate, and really everything they need me to be for them.
With Isaac being off to school I'm starting to realize how important my role is as a mother. He comes home from school totally wiped for the first hour. Tired, annoyed, and a bit angry is pretty typical. I'm learning to give him some space, and some food, and letting him come back to us as Isaac gently. If I push it, I've noticed, he fights it and doesn't want to be happier. It's been taking a lot of energy, but I think we are all starting to get on the same page and understand a routine.
.............
6:30 am, I wake up to the alarm on my phone, roll out of bed, and head to the boys' room. I turn on the hall and bathroom lights, letting just enough light in their room to make the boys uncomfortable. Eli and Titus are the first to wake, and the stumble into the living room. I decide to entice Isaac out of bed by playing a "Tom and Jerry" show on the computer. It works! Isaac, without much delay, comes and joins his brothers on his bed.
They ask for some drink, I give it to them. They watch one more show, and then I serve breakfast.
Everyone is ready towards 8am but me. I've been running around trying to get everything together for the long day ahead of us--Eli has a cardiologist appointment in South Carolina, and I need to drop Titus off at person's home who willing volunteered to watch him during Eli's appointment.
The boys are bouncing off the walls, no one is able to keep shoes on, and I'm about to hit this fan. I don't want to go crazy on them, I think. What am I going to do?! No one seems to be listening to me, and I'm about to blow!
A thought: read the scriptures with them.
So I do. I find the "Book of Mormon Reader" and open up to Abinadi's story. Isaac and Eli are the ones the pay attention, but a calm enters our house and I can feel peace once more. We then all kneel down and I say family prayer. The boys get up and start bouncing off the walls once more. Nothing has really changed, you know, except for me. Capable and very peaceful, I feel.
Biking is out of the question this morning so I park in a neighborhood near the school and we all walk Isaac to the front of the building. We say goodbye, then me and the two little boys go back home and finish preparing for the big day.
On the way to the volunteer's home Eli asks, "What we doing?"
I say, "Well Titus is going to someone's home while you and I go to the doctors."
Eli, "NOOOOOO! MOM! I DON'T WANNA GO TO DOCTORS! PLEASE, NO!"
Many tears are shed in the 10 minute drive. But I'm able to keep my cool, and calmly explain that "it's not going to hurt" and that "nothing is going to happen to you."
Titus' drop off goes off without a hitch. He walks in the house, sees stairs, and heads straight up them.
I get back in the 4runner with Eli and we head north for 45 minutes to Beaufort, SC. On the way up there he is pretty calm, probably because he has the iPad all to himself and can play "Pocket Gods" the way he wants to.
When we arrive at the doctor's office I think, You know, before we go in I bet Eli is pretty hungry and would like some chocolate milk. So for the first time in a long time I buy a happy meal. And Eli goes wildly happy. He sits beside me in the waiting room and eats everything, and downs his chocolate milk. When his name is called to go to the back, he goes without one complaint or fit, and is the most compliant I've ever seen him during a visit.
And he looks great! 37 lbs, 32.5 inches tall, I do believe the nurse tells me. During the heart echo Eli stays really still, and becomes intrenched my the ultrasound tech's finger nails. We met our new doctor, and he tells us that we don't need to come back for another 6 months! This is all wonderful news to hear.
We head back home, Eli falls asleep, and I pick up Titus. When the boys come to I take them to Goodwill to look around, pick up a canvas for .99 cents, and head over the Isaac's school to pick Mr. I-man up from Kindergarten.
After we pick Isaac up we head to a park. We only stay for a bit... since Isaac is still in "recovery mode" from school. At home I make lemonade, which the boys all down in a sitting. I then start to work on some home-made mac-n-cheese dinner.
At dinner we all sit and eat and talk to each other. The boys eat/pick at the strawberry and spinach salad, then totally scarf the mac-n-cheese.
Isaac is really in a good mood now. So I put them all in the bath, and let them have fun--though they do seem to beat up on each other in the bath. Since the screams are from the bathroom are getting a bit on my nerves I decide to take them all outside.
Into LEGO Batman and Robin pjs we go, and a outside walk we start. The evening is great: low humidity, and low eighties in temp. We walk half a block, then turn around. The boys chase after a cat, but I feel like looking after these 3 children is trying to heard cats!
When we get back to the house they say the want to go inside. Now way, let's have races down the driveway to Mommy and back to the 4runner. They all agree, and such fun they have! All sorts of running goes on: one foot hoping, giraffe galloping, speedy racing. Pretty great stuff.
As we start to go inside we meet a neighbor, who has young kids! Hooray! And a trampoline! Double hooray!
We come inside, have a glass of milk at the table, then head to bed. We read two books, then brush teeth, and then lay down.
Yup. Good day. Not-too-monsterous.
No comments:
Post a Comment