A Powerful Sleepless Night

I am not a patient person. Especially when I am tired. And last night I was tired, and my patience was tried, and tried, and tried.

Titus has not been sleeping well. For naps, or whatever. It's a teething thing, for sure. He is 10 months old, and is sporting the vampire look:

So, back to the not sleeping thing. He is fevered, he is whinny, and he flips his lid when I lay him down to sleep. He flips his lid when he wakes up for naps, and his multiple middle of the night wake ups.

Last night he awoke at 10:30. Screaming. And screaming. And SCREAMING! Matt took care of him, but it took another hour for him to get back to sleep. At midnight Eli woke up, needing a diaper change and a drink (he is also teething. Joy.). I took that shift, because I'm cool like that... actually I'm a really light sleeper. I'm awake anyway, might as well take care of it all.

THEN 2:30, Titus starts to scream. I get him a bottle, check his diaper, and leave him be.

10 minutes later, Titus starts to scream again!

Let me paint you a picture of yours truly: impatient, tired, and crabby!

I huff! I puff! I throw the covers off! I say, in not so quiet of a voice, "What is wrong with this child?! I'm going down stairs to sleep!!"

Matt gives me a tired and weak, "okay... "

I march out of the room, fully intending to go down the stairs, lay on the couch, and stuff my ears with pillows. But I hesitate before I heading down... I feel a tug in my heart, which seems to say: "Titus' scream is so pitiful. And he is only 10 months old, for pity's sake Shannon."

I go into the boys' room, hoping I can keep my cool and bring comfort to this little boy. I take him in my arms, and start to rock him back and forth. Within two minutes he is falls asleep, but I continue to rock. I look at this small child, and try to take in everything I am seeing. The light of night light forms a soft halo effect around his small head... An image forms in my mind, a picture taken when he was 6 days old.

I sigh, and feel a sense peace of mind come.

I slowly walk back to his crib, continuing to rock back and forth. It takes me another 5 minutes to get him back into his bed. Slowly placing him down, and inch at a time. His eyes flash open at intervals, but when he is all the way down he stays asleep.

When I head back to bed (actually I head down stairs to sleep on the couch, because that couch is comfy!), two things cross my mind.

1) Good thing I do all those pull ups and push ups! That slow placing down was killer!

2) I love Elder Richard G. Scott.

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Elder Scott has a special place in my heart. He was at Matt's BYU-Idaho graduation, and his first child was a heart baby.

During his talk in the April 2011 General Conference, he talks about the blessings of marriage and family. He emphasizes the importance of taking the time to appreciate marriage and family. He gives a few examples in his life, but this one is my favorite:

"One night our little son Richard, who had a heart problem, awoke crying. The two of us heard it. Normally my wife always got up to take care of a crying baby, but this time I said, “I’ll take care of him.”

Because of his problem, when he began to cry, his little heart would pound very rapidly. He would throw up and soil the bed clothing. That night I held him very close to try to calm his racing heart and stop his crying as I changed his clothes and put on new bedsheets. I held him until he went to sleep. I didn’t know then that just a few months later he would pass away. I will always remember holding him in my arms in the middle of that night."

Read his whole talk here.

What a powerful example of slowing down, sacrificing a bit sleep, and making memories with one's children.

I have night memories with each of my kids. Isaac being 9 months old, sick as a dog, and falling asleep while throwing up in a bowl. Eli around 5 months old, having his oxygen removed the previous day (two weeks after his second heart surgery), looking at me with his large eyes.

And now Titus, finding comfort in my arms.

Eli's 2nd Birthday Bash

Pizza Pipeline pizza + chocolate cake with creamy peanut butter frosting + presents = a VERY happy Eli.

We kept it chill this year: Matt's parents and brother, and my mother via Skype were the main guests. Isaac insisted on having an earthquake cake. Meaning? I wasn't too sure. He said there needed to be lava and water. Perhaps he has been watching too much "end of the world" videos. So we made an earthquake cake, and gave Eli two pink candles. He didn't know what to do with the candles. He kept saying, "Oh, hot! Oh, hot!" So Isaac helped with one candle, and I did the other.

Eli received to presents. One, a Fisher Price cool road thing. Two, a Thomas the Train figure. He loved both! (But so did his older brother.) After presents his measurement was taken on the "ruler" Matt and I made back in August. He's 2 feet 10 inches! (And check out his chest scare. It can barely be seen!)

Night, Night

Tonight I had all my boys around me, and it was good. I did not rush bed time, and we enjoyed each others' company.

Isaac and Titus wrestled on the bed. Honestly. Titus can wrestle, and he's got skill no other 10 month old has! After wrestling he laid down beside me and rested his head on my lap. Eli and I read "Firefighters to the Rescue!" and "10 Apple Up On Top." He looked and looked at the bear in "10 Apples," and after 5 minutes proceeded to throw all the books behind the headboard (I'll get them tomorrow). Me and Isaac sang songs, practiced hand motions to Itsy Bitsy Spider and came up with new verses to that song. Here are two of my favorites:

• "This itsy bitsy spider climbed up a willow tree, Down came the rain and set the spider free"
• "The itsy bitsy spider went to Jesus Christ who had a itchy back"

I sang to each of my boys "You Are My Sunshine," putting in their name with each rendition. I got teary as I sang, watching these little one running around and "settling down" for the evening (throwing diapers down the stairs, pushing buttons on the cd player, getting out the baby monitor... you know, the usual night time routine).

"Oh!" my heart ached: "These boys truly to make me happy when skies are grey, and they will never know how much I love them."

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I love calm, non-rushed bedtimes. Giving our family these quite, simple evenings is a new goal of mine. But I must be the one who takes the time to let this happen! I cherish my quiet time at night, but that personal quite time should not come at the expense of these precious family moments.

A Birthday Boy

Eli is two. TWO!

He was born on a Monday, a very cold Monday in Salt Lake City at 1:25 in the afternoon. I only had to push once, and if Matt and the Doctor hadn't hurried they probably would have missed the experience! (Both were on lunch break.)

Eli was 7 pounds 6 ounces, and 20 inches long.

I was able to hold Eli a few seconds before he was handed off to University of Utah NICU. About an hour later the Primary Childrens Medical Center Life Flight Team came and brought him by for 10 minutes. There I was able to hold him some more, and Isaac whispered: "Bebe E-i."

Matt looking at me holding Eli for the first time

Eli being passed through a window in the delivery room to NICU

Me, weeping after Eli is taken to the NICU

Eli stopping by before being taken to Primary Childrens

First picture of our family of four

Matt followed the Flight Team to Primary Childrens, and I was moved to a recovery. A snow storm started. We spent most of our day with Eli in Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. Both sets of his grandparents were able to be there with him. Oh, and aunts too!

That night around 9pm I sneaked out of my room in University of Utah hospital, and by myself went and spent more time with Eli in the PICU. I held him, and cried a little bit. He was so beautiful, and so sweet. I would have given anything for him to be healthy and whole, but I tried to cherish every little moment.

And for 4 days, that is just what we did. (His heart surgery was at 5 days old.)

Eli, on his birthday

3 days old

Happy Birthday, Eli Bud! We love you so much!

You've come a long way in the last two years,

but try to keep yourself in one piece till at least adulthood...

Flaxen Hair

flaxen hair: resembling flax especially in pale soft strawy color.

Titus, a few days from being 10 months old.

Things of Note

Within this week:

• Isaac has started to say "Eli," instead of "E-i."
• Isaac wrote an "I" and some "O"s all by himself.
• Eli has started wearing size 6 diapers. (He's short, but has a wide bottom!)
• Titus has had two top teeth come through. Like a vampire! So nothing in the front, but two on the side.
• All three boys have started sleeping in the same room together.

We are pretty excited about all of these developments! But also...

... We MOVED! Yup, yup. So HAPPY! We are with the in-laws for a bit, just for the summer. But I'll be heading back to Bama with the boys from the end of May till beginning of August, anyway. Matt's staying here to get more schooling in and do the ROTC Leadership Development Assessment Course in Washington state.

Why am I so happy to move? I hated the apartment we were in. Pretty sure I lost my mind a few times. It smelled. The dryer didn't work, so we had to let all of our clothes air dry. The neighbors were... um... special. They had great hearts, but I didn't like all the swearing and yelling. And I'm not a fan of all the cigarette smoke that my boys were exposed to. BUT THE WORST PART?! Being on the third story. So horrible!

Being in this house has been great.

See? Tree climbing and naked playing!! That's all I have wanted for our boys, to play naked!

The two little boys have been sick this past week, but are starting to feel better.

And who doesn't love Oreos?

And our plan? After I come back from Bama we are going to find our own place again. (Still in Boise, Matt graduates in May of 2012.) It's been difficult to figure out loans... that's why we are all over the place for the summer. Things are starting to fall in line though, so no worries! We won't be on the street anytime soon!

Workin' Out Grown Ups

Two weeks ago I walk into the house, and the living room is picked up. Sigh of relief! It was a Tuesday, and I hate Tuesdays. Lots of running around by myself with the kids (preschool, play-dates, and leading Activity Days alone). The house is never, EVER picked up this day, and most of the time the kids have cereal and granola bars for dinner.

Matt had come for an hour and took some time to show he loves me. And I felt loved! He is a BUSY man. You should see his calendar. Every minute of the day has something planned.

I took a second, and sat down at the laptop.

When I opened it, I saw a word document with this picture:

With a message about how much he appreciates how much I do and how much he loves me.

I laughed hysterically!! This man is crazy.

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This year Matt and I have been trying to take fitness more seriously. And I think it has paid off. I mean, look at his muscles! (I give you permission to do so.)

In Matt's last Physical Training Test (PT test) for the ROTC, he scored a 290!! (The best since basic training, which his score was like 320.) It's out of 300, and there are 3 categories, which can get a maximum score of 100... Or more if one gets the maximum points in each category. (He is in the 27 to 31 age bracket.)

2 mile run: 13:55

Push ups in 2 minutes: 84

Sit ups in 2 minutes: 80

And me? My goal at the beginning of the year was to do a 70 second flexed arm hang. And... I DID IT! Last Saturday I was able to do one for 73 seconds. Pretty cool. What is a flexed arm hang? One holds herself up on a pull up bar for as long as possible. Two weeks after Titus was born I hung for half a second! AHH! At the beginning of this year I was able to go for 30 seconds. The Marine Corps uses the flexed arm hang to test their women's strength... and 70 seconds is the maximum.

One work out regiment that has really helped me and Matt is a pull up pyramid.

• Start with 1 pull up. (I do negative pull ups. Jump up to the bar, and slowly let myself down.) Then 2 push ups, and then 3 sit ups.
• 2 pull ups, 4 push ups, 6 sit ups.
• 3 pull ups, 6 push ups, 9 sit ups.
• 4 pull ups, 8 push ups, 12 sit ups.
• 5 pull ups, 10 push ups, 15 sit ups.
• 6 pull ups, 12 push ups, 18 sit ups.
• THEN GO DOWN
• 5 pull ups, 10 push ups, 15 sit ups.
• 4 pull ups, 8 push ups, 12 sit ups.
• 3 pull ups, 6 push ups, 9 sit ups.
• 2 pull ups, 4 push ups, 6 sit ups.
• 1 pull up, 2 push ups, 3 sit ups.

This has been great. We started in the beginning of December, and really prepared us for all the other fitness things we wanted to do. Matt will take the pyramid up to 7, and do the push ups times 4 instead of 2. This really helped me with P90x. Yup, that's an amazing work out program. I've been pretty good about it, expect for the last two weeks! I hurt myself on a longer run, and it has taken a bit to get back on the horse.

Anyway, P90X is hard. But honestly the hardest part is the yoga... Which I have learned to love! Yoga is awesome! But I did cry the first time I did it. Matt does P90X sometimes with me (when he is home), and last night was his first time with yoga. 2 minutes into it he said, "Wow, yoga is hard." And later he yelled "Screw you, Tony Horton!" But he'll get better as time goes on.

Anyway, if anybody is interested in starting P90X please get in touch with me!