Eli Weeps

Titus is asleep, and Eli wants to watch a show.  But I feel like we are all "showed out" today, so I offer a compromise: why don't we watch some family videos instead? "Sure!" says Eli, "a Eli baby one." I think that's just fine.

The home dvd starts and it's an up close of Eli, 1 day old, laying in his hospital bed.  At first 3 yr old Eli is really excited to himself, but as the video continues with baby Eli being help ever so gently with wires all over and hospital beeps going on, 3 yr old Eli starts to get concerned: "Why Eli not home?"

Then the video goes to a post surgery clip, which really gets Eli worried--I quickly skip over it and go to a home recovery video.  But Eli doesn't like that one either: he sees himself on the couch with oxygen on, he sees himself cry in pain, he sees himself with a large cut down his chest.

Present day Eli starts to cry, and I skip over the rest to one where Isaac is playing around.  Now big alligator tears are pouring out of Eli's face, and he wails, "Baby Eli has owie... Oh no... Eli! Hurt!"

I hold him, tell him he's okay, that baby Eli is okay, and we don't have to watch those again.  All the while my heart is breaking, and tears are about to pour from mine own eyes.



Poor child.
His last surgery was barely over a year ago, and though he probably doesn't recall the events, I think the emotional memory is still very present.