3 Ain't Easy

Having three kids is hard. Seriously hard. Like "pick up the habit of swearing, cause your gonna lose your mind, and it's better to swear than beat your kids" hard.

Maybe it's just this kind of hard for me because they are all close in age. I mean Isaac was 3 years and 9 months old when Titus was born, for crying out loud. Or maybe all the circumstances in which we became a family of 5 was just too much for me to handle in a dignified way. 2nd child is a heart baby, Matt's starts as over-full time MBA student, hard living situation, just to name the first 3 off the top of my head.

Then there are the times when I see my first two children sitting quietly, looking at books together, laughing together, and just being peaceful; and my third child comes running through the room, screaming happily, throwing puzzle pieces all over the ground, and spiting raisins out of his mouth.  It is in those moments in which I wonder, "Titus, if you came at a later time, like after grad school and in the middle of our 3rd year during Matt's commission in the ARMY... ... ...," and I don't finish my wonderment.

I can start that train of thought very easily. Especially when I see this 3rd child run out of my bathroom covered in lipstick, or when he pulls a dozen eggs onto the ground, or when I witness him color with green Sharpie on my white dinning room bench--to name a few happenstances within the last week.

But I think there is another reason why I wonder about him coming later. I'm realizing that he is growing up. In 4 months he'll be 2, fully into toddlerhood and no longer a "baby." And it's sad. Baby days are over, soon all these young little boys will be young men. And if we really never have a child again then this chapter of "cute little outfits, snuggles in my lap, fun finger foods" is over. (I can't think, or fathom, the idea of ever being pregnant again... so please don't ask, just don't ask, if I'm serious about not having anymore children.)

...............

I do take comfort during my "emotionally confusing mothering times" from an instance that has stayed with me, and which I consider a great blessing and tender mercy from The Man Up Stairs.

It was Christmas Season 2010, during the middle of the night. Our tiny tree was plugged in and was filling the whole living room with tiny green and blue and red and yellow lights.
I had just sat down on the couch with 6 month old baby number 3, Titus, to nurse him.  As he fed, I watched. He was beautiful and sweet, and such a good feeder!

I began to sense a peaceful feeling, and then a thought: "He belongs in the family, he came when he was supposed to come." I knew it was true. And I was so grateful to Heavenly Father for that small, but powerful, revelation.

I was so much in wonderment that after I laid Titus down, and climbed into bed, I woke Matt up to tell him all the I had felt and learned.

................

As stated above, I still take so much comfort from that experience.
Titus belongs. He's supposed to be here. And he's a son of God.

But goodness, I wish he'd stop finding Sharpie markers and leave the furniture alone!

Isaac's First Primary Talk

Isaac gave a talk in Primary today! And that, y'all, is a big deal. 
He's a been a pretty shy guy in his past, and because of his speech, hasn't liked to talk in public AT ALL. No prayers, no scriptures, nothing. But since being in preschool the last year and half he's been doing a lot better.

Today he did really well. Got kind of quiet when repeating what I was saying in his ear, but he put forth a good effort.

Him and I wrote the talk Saturday afternoon. At first he really didn't want to do, but towards the end got really into it. Even wondering if he could have signs! 
So, here is his talk:


Hi, I'm Isaac Dudley.
I am 5.
I have 2 little brothers.

It's important for me to choose the right.
CTR helps me remember to choose the right. (He holds up sign CTR sign with a smiley face.)

Right things I choose are:
clean up my room
help my brothers
I play with my brothers
eating good food

Choosing the right helps me to be happy.
Heavenly Father is happy when I choose the right.

I don't want to be bad and choose the wrong.
Choosing the wrong would make me not happy. CTW is not good. (He holds up a sign with CTW and a sad face.)

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

... exhausted, is our name...

I'm so tired.
Have been all week, and all last week.

Matt is so tired.
Has been all week, and all last week.

Ugh. I hate sickness season. Totally takes it out of you... for weeks, it seems.

Two weeks ago Matt came home with a bum knee. He's not sure how he got it, but it was a wreck. Couldn't walk too much, couldn't run at all. He iced it every night, took ibuprofen often, and by day 4 his knee was a bit better but his stomach started to ache.

Monday, February 6th, 2012 is actually when his started to ache. Like an all day pain.
Monday, February 6th, 2012 I went to bed with a cough.

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012 Matt wakes up lots better.
Tuesday, February 7th, 2012 I wake up and feel like death... with a cough.

So that's how our week started. Matt on the mend, and me with my health on a steep hill downward.

I functioned okay on Tuesday and Wednesday...

... But on Thursday, February 9th, 2012 I completely fell apart. I had spent the previous night on the couch, unable to sleep with my coughing. Honestly I don't remember much of that week. Let's just say, it was awful. And Matt totally stepped up. He took time off from school and stayed home with me and the boys all day on Thursday and Friday.

And what was I dealing with? I have no idea. Coughing, mucus, fever, body aches. It was horrid. And I slept on the cough most nights with a humidifier beside me, Vics vapor rub on the chest, and all sorts of coughing medicine.

Friday, February 10th, 2012 I started to feel just a bit better.
Saturday, February 11th, 2012 Matt had ARMY National Guard drill an hour away. He got up at 5:30am and left just before 6am. I had the kids, and I was a little scared, but guess what?! Matt's grandparents came over and took the boys for 4 hours. I got rest, and felt so much better when the boys were dropped off.

Matt's grandparents rock. For sure! It must be that Canadian blood they have going on. The coolest and nicest people EVER.

On Sunday I felt good enough to go to church and teach the 4 year old class. The boys did well, and we had (I think) a good afternoon. Matt came home around 6pm from drill.




Yeah, so this week we just can't seem to get our feet underneath us. It's always that way after a drill weekend, but on top of the crazy sickness it just seems even more.

I haven't ran or exercised in almost 2 weeks. Ugh.
Matt has a weekend class this weekend. Awesome.

But I think me and Matt are going to be able to go on a date! Thanks, Matt's parents! (It's that Canadian blood, I tell you.)

Oh, and the boys are great. Playing, laughing, eating chocolates together. There are definitely been some Valentine's Day love going on between them. If Titus didn't do things like pull a dozen eggs from the counter top onto the floor (which all smash open), then I think things would seem a lot smoother... but that  little dude is crazy. Hopefully just a few more months of baby-crazy then he'll mellow out a bit. I hope.

And how about that Jeremy Lin guy from the New York Knicks?! He's pretty great.  I'm totally a fan.

Last Weekend's Fun!

First off I'm just gonna say that I don't remember much from this week... I've been sick. Like very. I'll talk about in another post, but I really want to this post about last weekend. It was fun, and pretty cool.

Let's begin!

Friday afternoon Matt and I were like, "What do we want to do as a family, since you (Matt) are going to be gone all weekend for a MBA class?"
Then we said, "Let's look into the new Idaho Aquarium!"
And we were like, "That's an awesome idea. Because 1) all of our boys love the ocean, and 2) they are kinda under with a cold so being inside is probably better than being outside."

It was a cool little place! And for our ocean loving family it was perfect. They are going to be adding lots onto it in the future, but the stuff they have now is good. Lots of hand's on stuff--like SHARKS and STING RAYS!

Friday night Matt and I had a movie-night-in. Double feature. Pretty awesome. "Warrior" and "50/50."

............................

On Saturday, around 11:30, we got everyone in the van (Matt in his 4runner) to go to Matt's parents home. They offered to take the boys so that Matt and I could go on a date (Matt's class was cut early. Hooray!). On our way we got stuck in traffic. "Traffic in Boise?" Um, yeah. A girl in the turn lane, that I was right behind, had her little sub totally break down. 

I didn't know this at first, so I honked. She waved her hands. I finally got out of the van and went to ask her what was wrong. "SUV won't start, probably out of gas. Have no money, have no contacts." I told her to 1) put her hazard lights on, then 2) put the car in neutral and I'll push her down the hill out off of the high traffic road.

So I did. Then once down the hill Matt and I both pushed her into a neighborhood, where she got help from some people in the area.

We then dropped off our boys to their grandparents, and went on our date. 

The boys had a lot of fun. And were tired out! Look at 'em, all exhausted. Feel asleep in the van on the way home, and stayed asleep once on the couch. 

...............................

Sunday came. 

I got the boys and myself ready for church, and we made it there an hour late. Oops. 

Actually, Matt isn't going to be able to make it to church ANY Sunday this month. Between ARMY National Guard and this MBA class, all his February weekends are full. Oh well... so missing the first hour is mostly likely going to be happening every Sunday. Sorry.

I'm the CTR 4's teacher, meaning I teach the 4 year olds, and it was kind of crazy. I have 6 little ones, that always come, and all love to try to sit in my lap. Get's a little emotional at times. 

Also, Eil and Titus are in Nursery and I'm the only parent there. I must answer to their needs--which Eli needed me twice during lesson hour. Not too bad, since the Primary President helped me out, but still a little crazy. 

We got home, put Titus down for a nap, and started cooking. Veggie soup and carrot cake. 

Matt came home, got all the stuff ready, got the boys ready, then off to Tim and Kara's for the Super Bowl.  Family, food, fun!  Who could ask for more?

Vacay, Part 2.2 "Mythbusters"

Remember the post just a few down from this, about Tough Mudder? Well that was just the first part of our day.  Here is a post about the second part:

In December Matt had seen an advertisement for a "Myth Tour." He was like, "what?" and checked out the details--which included a stage, Adam and Jamie (the main hosts of Mythbusters), and audience participation. He was like, "way cool, that'd be waaay awesome to go to!"

We looked at the tour dates, saw that the Salt Lake one was the day we were leaving to go to Las Vegas, and were a bit disappointed. Well I decided to look some more, and saw an ARIZONA date on the day of Tough Mudder... in Tucson! 2 hours away from Mesa (where Tough Mudder was taking place).

We knew we'd be cutting it close, but I though, "what the hay, we only do this type of thing... once in 7 years?!" I bought the tickets. They came in the mail. We filed them away, and hoped and prayed we'd be able to arrive in Tucson in one piece to see this MythTour.

.................


Our 12:40 start time for Tough Mudder threw us through a loop. And with the back up at some of the obstacles, we didn't finish till 4:15.

Our dear, dear friends lined up a place for us to shower at one of their friend's home. We got there maybe round 5pm, showered quickly, got most of the dirt off, put on some new clothes, and jumped in our rental car and speed our way down to Tucson.

Of course we needed something to eat, so we did a quick run into a Panda Express, loaded down on some "Chinese food," and continued on our way. We each took turns driving so that each of us could eat, and talked lots about what we did and how crazy Tough Mudder was... and wondered, "Will we EVER do that again?!" Matt thought no, I thought maybe.

We got into Tucson with 2 minutes to spare, and arrived on the University of Arizona campus, then took our seats at 7:35pm. Just 5 minutes late! WOW! We thought we did awesome, considering all the crazy.

Shoot, let me just paint a picture of myself. Cute dress and shoes, hair dirty and matted up in a weird bun, scrapes all over my arms, and face paint still very noticeable. Matt was practically the same (just no dress). OH! While I we were in Panda Express an 8-year-old-ish girl tugged on her dad's arm and whispered, "She's a softball player!"

Okay, took our seats, then enjoyed the fun! Lots of audience participation, secrets of the show, and question/answer time.

It was a 2 hour show. I give it a solid B+, but since Matt basically lives and breathes for Mythbusters I think he loved every part of it! Which it was really fun, don't it me wrong.

And no, we didn't see Adam and Jamie up close and in person after the show. We were ready to go back to Trevor and Michelle's home and SLEEP.  Got back on the road around 10pm, and started the 2+ hour drive to their home.

We did well. Wasn't too hard to drive till we got past Phoenix, and all the business lights dropped off... and we started getting tired. But it was only 20 minute drive mores, so we made it. And we slept. And that sleep was awesome!

If Matt Had Hair...

... He'd look 10 years younger!

But I really like my bald(ing) man, so I'll keep him just the way he is. 

Those Times

You know those times when you wake up, and you just seem in a daze--unable to shack off sleepiness, and just a bit gloomy?

You know those times when you have nothing really eatable to eat in the house so you have to take your self, in that daze, with three small children (all dressed as Spiderman) to Wal-Mart to buy essentials, like cheese and apples and cereal?

You know those times when you turn on Pandora Radio, type in "Snow Patrol's 'Run'" station, and the saddest music plays? Of course which makes you even more gloomier?

You know those times when you've gotten everyone something to eat for lunch, but you have know idea what you should eat? That it seems like the world is going to end because nothing sounds good and healthy, and you start to cry?

You know those times when you check Facebook because it's something to do, and you read a post of a friend's which changes your whole day? And it reads like this:


‎"Suppose neck deep in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, you resolve to give it a chance. You trust more. Stress less. Amplify gratitude. Mute grumbling. And what do you know? Before long, the day is done and surprisingly decent. So decent, that you give the next day the same fighting chance. You do the same the next day and the next. Days become a week. Weeks become months. Months become years of good days...And if you can stack one good day on another and another, you will link together a good life...'This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it'" (Psalm 118:24) -Max Lucado

...............

You know those times when you try to start having a good day around 1pm, and start seeing the special and magical things in your life?


You know those times those time when your 1 year old runs out of the shower naked, and is screaming because he is tired and cold? So you take the naked boy and cuddle with him in your bed, and enjoy that precious 1 minute where there is no wiggling, just stillness with each other?


You know those times when you sit on the bottom stair with your 2 year old, who had no bottoms on, and eat a bag of "Food Should Taste Good" sweet potato chips?


You know those times where you help your 5 year old with an iPad tank game and to try to take out the enemy, and you smell his hair and hold him close?


You know those times where you help your 2 year old go poop on the potty, and he accidentally drops his toy in the toilet right before he goes? But it's still okay?


You know those times when your 1 year old wake us from a nap with a fever and in a horrible mood, so you just hold him while you and your sons watch "Mulan" and hear him say over and over again, "Ga-guy" when the evil Huns comes on?   


You know those times when your 5 and 2 year old create an obstacle course in the living room with the sofa cushions, and your 2 year old bites it with his naked bottom on the piano bench, so he has you kiss his little naked bum over and over again to make him feel better?


You know those times where it's 8pm in the evening, and you feel like you have done nothing, so you start to clean all the toilets in the house and let the boys play with big dump trucks, q-tips, and soap bars? 


You know those times when you put all the kids down and you say the prayers with each kid, and your 5 year old tells you that he had his Star Wars book under his pillow, and you say "that's awesome"?


You know those times when everyone is down for the night, your husband is still at school for another hour, you clean up the kitchen and then are able to sit down and watch--with obsession--PBS' "Downton Abbey"?


Yes, I know those times.