Journey to Me

I'm doing well, thanks for asking ;) 

Yeah, Monday was a bit hard, but I ended mopping all the floors, doing 7 loads of laundry, and biking 4 miles crazy wind.  Took my mind off of things, to say the least.  I hope everyone else is starting to feel peace in their hearts and joy in the season.  

.........

Being "okay" with who I am is a journey, I've realized.  It's something I'll always work on:  sometimes really enjoying the experience, other times wanting to put my head in a hole and hide. 

It's going to take my whole lifetime.  *overwhelmed sigh* 

Right now I'm happy with myself, for the most part.  

I'm trying to do new things and enjoy my family.  Live in the moment, but prepare for the future.  It's a good place.  

One thing that I want to re-explore is art.  

Growing up Shannon = Art.  I was always drawing and creating, and I was good.  Really.  

I lost my "art time" towards the end of middle school, the extra curricular activities in high school took over.  Art was not one of them.  (Our A/B block days screwed me over.  Took band WAY too much.  Depressing.)

During high school history class became really fun and interesting, and I really excelled in it.  And believe me, Shannon excelling in any academic atmosphere was a big deal.  So I took that passion for history to college, and thought that history is what I wanted to study.  

Till sophomore year.  Man, I missed art and creating.  So I thought I wanted to study art, and become an art teacher.  That lasted for half a semester--I was 7 months pregnant with Isaac and very overwhelmed with program (I haven't drawn consistently for years, and I felt really behind).   I went back to history, and stayed there till I graduated.  

History is still very important to me, and will always be.  However, I'm coming to the point where I'd really like to be more creative.  I'm going to do more art work, I've decided.  Even if it comes out weird and a tad more psychedelic than wanted.  

Behold, melted crayon (by hairdryer) on canvas!  

Left:  The beginning.  Right:  I just couldn't leave it alone, so that's the end piece. 

I'm going to put this piece in the hallway.  The hallway needs some thing to brighten it up!

I like expressing myself.  In high school I'd arrive in crazy stuff:  water shoes, baby!  I mostly shopped at thrift stores, so whatever caught my eye and made me sing inside, I'd wear. 

After I had kids I wanted to feel more pretty, so I started to wear more sophisticated stuff... I think.   But after dressing like a grown-up for a few years, I started getting bored.  

I love to go to thrift stores, and get some wonderful finds.  I love mixing colors in interesting ways, layering differently, and doing something unexpected.  However, sometimes I feel like I try too hard.  I often ask Matt, "Do I look costume?"  

He's like, "Wha??"  

And I say, "I just feel like I'm the only one who does stuff like this... What does that mean?"  

He's like, "I dunno, I'm eating oatmeal, so I can't give constructive insight. " ... The punk.   

Having short hair has been a lot of fun.  I've figured out how to make it like a mow hawk.  Sometimes really unintentional.  It's really however I wake up, that's what I have to do with my hair.  

And Matt LOVES it.  Crazy man.  He wants me to study Pink's (the signer) hair, and do things like her.  Punk.

Though I've realized going to bed with a wet head is a VERY bad idea:  

So this is where I'm at:  relearning my creativity, being okay with me, and just having fun.